(This is a fake coding language, and is intentionally vibecoded!)

NOW WITH 100% MORE ANGLE BRACKETS

Code like
nobody agreed
on the syntax.

Meet HTXMLVibeSlopJavaLuauC#++: a programming language assembled from committee meetings, questionable punctuation, and vibes.

Try the playground ↓ Read the long example ↗

doctype: htxmlvsjlcspp · extension: .hxvsjlcspp

probably-a-program.hxvsjlcspp

<!doctype htxmlvsjlcspp>
<slop>
  <local name="mood"
    type="String"
    value="optimistic" />

  <fn name="compile">
    <if test="mood == optimistic">
      <say>It works!</say>
    </if>
  </fn>

  <call name="compile" />
</slop>

COMPILES
ON MY
MACHINE*

★ 0 guarantees * probably 100% syntactically suspicious

HTML ENERGY ✳ XML STRUCTURE ✳ JAVA-ISH SERIOUSNESS ✳ LUAU-ISH LOCALS ✳ C#-ISH CONFIDENCE ✳ C++-ISH PUNCTUATION ✳ QUESTIONABLE VIBES ✳

A SPECIFICATION, SORT OF

Familiar ingredients.
Unfamiliar consequences.

Everything is a tag

Declarations, output, loops, and function calls all wear angle brackets. It’s markup! It’s code! It’s a syntax error waiting to happen!

Functions eat functions

Put tags in functions, calls in tags, and conditionals wherever the vibes feel right. The playground supports a small, well-behaved subset.

Types are decorative

Write type="String" for the comforting illusion of safety. Values are strings. The compiler is a rice cooker.

THE EXTREMELY SMALL RUNTIME

Test the vibes.

Edit the code, then run it. Your browser executes only the tiny tag-based subset—not arbitrary JavaScript. Probably the safest part of this whole language.

playground.hxvsjlcspp

XML-ish tags · strings · vibes

OUTPUT / compiler mood: hopeful

The void awaits your program.

VIBE ERRORs are emotionally valid.

Supported: <local>, <fn>, <call>, <say>, <if>, <repeat>. No network access, no eval, no actual Java or C++.

“

It compiles on my machine,
probably.

— the official motto, after extensive debate

Witness the long example ↗